Haircut XI

Kevin Pietersen
Whilst playing for Hampshire, wildlife lover and safari enthusiast KP became concerned for the endangered indigenous burrowing mammals of the New Forest. To raise awareness of their plight he agreed to play the entire Ashes series of 2005 with a live badger on his head.

Yuvraj Singh
India’s batting heartthrob showed that he still knows how to laugh at himself when he turned up to a recent photo shoot with a drastic new coiffure. “What do you call that?” joked Zaheer Khan. “I call it Yuvraj Singh’s new haircut,” said the pouty one.

Shane Watson
As a protest at the vanity of the modern cricketer, Shane used his time on the sick list to pioneer the anti-haircut. The beauty of the ‘Watson’ is that it can be achieved by anyone. All you need is a full head of hair and a small, bushy shrub into which to plunge it and hey presto, you’re Australia’s third best all-rounder!

Brendon McCullum
Some men are born blonde and some achieve blondeness. At one time, dousing your scalp in industrial bleach was de rigeur for the international sportsman. Those days may be gone but Kolkata’s hapless captain continues to stage a one-man tribute to the 1980s.

Ryan Sidebottom
All those hours spent with the curling tongues finally paid off last week for the England swing merchant when his ringlets secured the part of Lizzie Bennett’s hairdo in a stage production of Pride and Prejudice.

Ishant Sharma
Heavy metal fan Ishant used to pass his time on the tour bus shaking his tresses to the sound of Metallica or Megadeth. Unfortunately, on one occasion, the noise emanating from his Ipod was so loud that it disturbed Sourav Ganguly as he was cutting out offending newspaper articles for his scrapbook of vengeance. Since that day, Ishant has worn his hair a little shorter.

Shoaib Akhtar
At one time, the ladies swooned as he ran his fingers through a full head of hair. But these days the balding lothario and doughnut connoisseur cuts a rather sad figure in the nightclubs of Lahore as he sidles up to single women, brushes a few lank strands from his face and asks if they’d like to see his ‘fast ball’.

Nathan Bracken
The first Australian sportsperson of either gender to openly wear an Alice band in public, Natalie’s flowing locks are so beautiful that batsmen have been known to break down in tears at the sight.

R P Singh
An admirer of Dennis Compton, the swingingest bowler in India looks back fondly to a time when men were men and hair salons were for girls. “Short back and sides, please and a dash of Brylcream,” is all you will hear RP say to his barber. Sensible bowler. Sensible haircut.

Kyle Mills
Ever the patriot, the Black Cap seamer has sought inspiration from the eighteenth century for his style, modelling it on the same wig worn by Captain Cook when he discovered New Zealand. Egad sir what a splendid barnet!

Lasith Malinga
The Lesser Spotted Afro Bird thrived during the 1970s but loss of its natural habitat has forced it to the brink of extinction. For a while, Lasith Malinga’s hairdo contained what was thought to be the only remaining breeding pair in the world.